I am a painter and mine is the canvas You’re my muse and yours is the universe. We aligne mouths. We entwine. All act is clutch, All fact contact, the attack and the interlock Of tongues, the charms of arms. I shake at the touch Of your fresh flesh, I rock at the shock of your strength and length. Straddling my legs a little I insert your divine Person between and close on it as tight as I can. The upright warmth of your belly lies all along mine. Nude, glued together for a minute, we stand.” — “The Platonic Blow”
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Daddy Hope got to be one of the most stubborn and passionate people I know. Passionate about social justice of course, don’t get me wrong there. I’ve been a silent follower of his and more times than once I have questioned people in my circle why he keeps fighting a system that continuosly clips his wings. I could do with a little of his boldness and courage. Calling out truths for what they are and not hiding behind metaphors like what we most writers do.
The man never ceases to amaze me, so he came out of prison with a newly found passion…singing. Is he a talented rapper? You decide, he has two versions of “Dem Loot” the Shona and the English version. Listen to both and choose what tickles your fancy. I went through the comments on his Twitter posts and someone suggested that he comes up with an IsiNdebele version. I will bet my 2 cents, Daddy Hope is probably learning the language right now. My Ndebele friends, brace up for a version of the song in your own language. Someone please tell Daddy that we are rooting for him.
I said this was a response to Becoming the muse’s post. He said something interesting in his post. I will not quote him verbatim but he said, with the Dem Loot challenge gaining popularity, it’s only a matter of time before the “Loot Government” decides that singing that song is now a crime. I must say I totally agree with him. It’s not surprising to hear that a few youths were together with the Dem Loot founding father were arrested… well, let’s hope that doesn’t happen. With the dance challenges already there, the cover versions, I liked one from Miss Vera, I’d be happier if Daddy gets into the studio and give us a polished piece, meanwhile; Dem Loot, Dem Loot, Dem Loot, Dem Loot. If you’re not nodding your head right now, you’re an unfocused youth lol.
Becoming the muse, had an interesting view of the silhouette challenge. In his latest post he says,once you see a red light and hear the song, “out your head on my shoulder…” Promptly go and exorcise the spirit of the red light. The challenge has taken over the social media streets and I have seen people exchanging harsh words over that challenge. One of the nastiest comments I saw was of a Zimbabwean man saying that Zim women living in Zim should leave these challenges to Zim women living abroad because these local women will embarrass the nation. It became a heated argument but bottom line is most local Huns cannot compete with the other women living abroad because the beuatifying resources are scarce and expensive locally…”DEM LOOT”
I personally feel that there are levels to these challenges. Maybe it’s just me but for grown adults gyrating and writhing in the dark with red lights for likes seems a little off for me. Aren’t there other better challenges that you will be proud of say ten years from now? Like I said, it’s just my opinion and people are different, you will probably be proud of your silhouette challenge in your 60s if that’s the case, bravo! Take it off mami and get that red light!
I dread this month, it’s like there are flowers and chocolates and gifts for valentine’s everywhere. I think I will avoid the social media till it’s done. Well I don’t envy the chocolates I don’t eat those anymore-fitness goals, but side note to my secret admirer, please get me nice fitness gifts like a physical exercise wrist band, dumbbells, resistance bands, yoga mat and all the nice things…last year my secret admirer just got me flowers. Please come out in the open I need to thank you….it’s weird how I’m always single during my birthday and the valentine’s Day.
It’s been almost a year since the coming of the Covid-19 disaster. At first I thought it was not going to last for more than 3 months. I was 27 when I first heard of the virus. If you had asked me last year what my plans for my final years in my 20s were, I’d have given you a long list.
In 2020 I made a bucket list of things that I wanted to do before the year ended. I was going to crack out of my indoors shell and go out more often. I was going to make more friends and engage in crazy and wild adrenaline activities. Before I knew it, there was a lockdown around March and it lasted up to May. We were already almost mid-year. I went back to work but it wasn’t as was before. It felt like we were waking up from a comma. People were suspicious of anyone who was heard coughing. I hated it and that was no way of being alive. A number of people that I knew died and it was mainly the older generation.
Around September-October it was as if we were back to default settings. Churches were open, clubs were open and I was happy to be able to go out there and mingle. The only annoying thing was wearing a mask and for some of us with no cars, waiting for long hours for public transport. This was an indication that we were not yet back to normal. I turned 28 and nothing on my list was ticked.
“Gotcha!” The Corona virus made a statement again. Man! It felt as if we had been playing hide and seek with the virus. It came back in a double fold. Now the people I knew got sick, the numbers ceased to become just numbers but names, names of the people I love(d). I remember counting down to the new year with a couple of friends. It was a bitter-sweet moment. We were happy to be alive but sad that some of our friends were fighting tooth and nail to stay alive. To be honest, I didn’t have much hope then. My spirit was shattered and my soul was heavy. This was the first New Year’s Eve that people were banned from having gatherings. It felt so different and more like one of those bad dreams.
The much dreaded news came through again. We were back under another lockdown. This one was going to be my worst so far because unlike the first one where I was with family, I was going to be alone, in a new neighborhood, no friends and family. I knew it was also foreshadowing something bleak and of course the bleak happened. You know how it is when you thought your “friend” was one of the most transparent people you knew? Well I had a friend whom I thought was honest and I discovered that he had been extremely dishonest with me and I had taken risks for him. I had to cut ties and get into the lockdown with all the disappointments and anxiety of the unknown.
Just a few days into the lockdown, I saw many RIPs on the social media platforms than I had ever seen before in my life. It was so depressing and I had to constantly pray and worry about my family and friends. I broke down and went into depression or was it a panic attack, I’m not sure about the terminology here. Everything came crashing down on me. I’m not one to cry even during a funeral it’s hard to find me crying but this current lockdown has seen more of my tears than my 28 years combined.
To survive this pandemic, is like surviving a war. We don’t know how or when this will end but what I know for certain is that we are going to count bodies and lose some of us. I’m increasingly getting afraid that I may lose more friends and family than I have already, I can’t push the thought that sometimes I have the out of body experiences and I’m certain that I don’t want to hold on anymore.
If you have friends, value them, tell them you love them, be there for them. Be there for your family and don’t withhold your emotions, you’re privileged if you do have an immediate family some of us lost the immediate nuclear family already. I have been thinking of my late sister, Florence-Isabel a lot lately, those are bitter-sweet memories. I hope we will see the end of this and still be sane and happy. It looks like we have already lost 2 years of our lives. This is the time “to love as if we are going to lose each other, hold each other as if we are saying goodbye.” None of us is promised tomorrow. I wish you strength and the zeal to hold on. Maybe, one day we will sit down without masks and revisit these tough times and I hope all of us will still be here.
Women’s biological make up can be complicated. She suspected that she was pregnant and then she had her period. The relief was out of this world because she had fallen pregnant for someone she was not officially dating. A month or 2 went by and she received her normal period but went back to the “pregnancy bringing” shenanigans with the said unofficial person. I guess people never learn. Something happened to her and she had this crazy headache that forced her to visit a local clinic. Her blood pressure was very high the nurses there were shocked but she was feeling fine exercising even. They took some tests and she just texted me saying she received her results and she is 2 months pregnant. I couldn’t say congratulations or anything because this is messed up, a child made out of wedlock and from a loveless union. How does one get pregnant and have a period for 2 months though? We wait for the saga to unfold hopefully it will be drama free.
Dear diary, today I received great news. I’m supposed to be elated and having all kinds of good vibes but I’m not okay. It’s one of those days when I don’t want to face life. I’m in bed and I know I’m not getting up today. I’ve been crying my eyes out, worst thing is I don’t know why. It doesn’t help that we are under lockdown, I can’t go anywhere. I’m alone, ,stuck with my thoughts and my tears. It’s raining, I can’t go for a walk. I just need to be told that I will be okay but I don’t know who will tell me because everyone thinks that I’m okay. Today I have realized that I’m getting tired of being alive. I mean what’s the point? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one with suicidal thoughts but I wouldn’t mind if I were to drop dead and die right now. Life’s meaningless and there is no point in living. I’m not okay, I don’t hope to be okay because I haven’t been okay for a long time and I don’t think it’s getting any better.
There’s a reason why “The No Strings Attached game” is always a flop. Well, that’s according to the ones I have observed. It’s all fun and games when you choose to go straight to the point and not to try to know each other. The sex itself is not the rope that ties 2 people together, it’s what happens after the act.
This post is not for the Holy Christians who are going to tell me that people shouldn’t be having pre-marital sex in the first place, save your judgment for the courts. Some time ago, before I became a dinosaur 🦕 and decided to go celibate, I had a friend with benefits. He didn’t start off as a friend, we met somewhere and our bodies connected. I liked fantasizing about him. He had a “Bad boy” body and “guns” I recently learnt that biceps are called guns. We didn’t talk about what we were about to do.
I was single at that time and he said he too was single. I would make a call and tell him that I wanted us to meet. No questions asked, he would avail himself and we would do the deed after which he would leave soon afterwards. It was a guilty pleasure of mine to kind of chase him away after the deed. By the way I never liked going to his place, I preferred mine because I had control on when he would leave and all. He also had a daughter so I didn’t want to be in their space.
Then things began to change, he started giving me the forehead kisses and hold me for longer after the deed. He began telling me about his plans and his business. I must say, the man ignited my curiosity and stroked my senses. WhatsApp messages started pouring in almost daily, before that, we only communicated with emojis and and dates and time. Now I was receiving the “good morning sunshine” have you eaten what’s up for the weekend vibes. I started giving him my time and we began calling each other talking about nothing. I don’t know when or how it happened but I started looking forward to his visits and I also started visiting him regularly. I no longer chased him away after sex, I would even cook 😄 for him, even after having been left with shaky and jelly knees.
The best part of this whole thing was the pillow talk. You know the vulnerability of being naked, in someone’s arms, no make up, just you and the “productive sweat”. We started sharing our fears and hopes, each pillow session was enlightening, I think I began to fall in love with his mind . I became his emotional punching bag. The booty calls were no longer just booty calls, he would drive all the way from Harare to Marondera to just talk and we no longer had sex on every visit. One thing did not change though, our conversations were always on the bed, on the pillow.
A wise woman, (me) once said, “empires were built and destroyed through pillow talks.” This is true, I started noticing that he was a great father to his daughter, by the way he had a child at 17, so at 30, he had a teenage daughter. I think we relaxed and we lost focus. I realized that I didn’t want pillow dates so I was able to disentangle before the strings got too tight. Take away from this? If you want a No Strings Attached union, avoid pillow talks or don’t get fluffy pillows that way no one will want a conversation on a hard pillow😀
On my 40th birthday my son brought out a big envelope and was jumping up and down with excitement. He said he had waited to give it to me for several weeks and I couldn’t help it but wonder what was inside.
I shed a tear before I even got the chance to open the envelope. The bundle of joy was happy so it made me happy too. I finally opened the brown envelope and what I saw in there shocked me. My knees failed me and my husband had to support me. I think I fainted for a bit, when I opened my eyes I was sleeping on my bed alone next to a tin of chocolates. It was raining and it was during a covid 19 lockdown and oh…I was still 28😜
‘Flirting/vibing is cheating.’ What you think of this statement or how you choose to react to this statement comes from your beliefs. However, what you believe to be right may be wrong to your significant other. So you have decided to take a step from dating(getting to know each other) to a relationship. How are you going to approach this topic? Who defines the boundaries and under what circumstances? Do you think it’s necessary to talk about such sensitive issues in the early stages of your relationship or you should cross the various bridges when you get there?
Of talking about ex-lovers.
A lot of people have insecurities and if their partner brings up a past lover in a conversation they come all gloved up and defensive. I have heard of people who feel attacked because they feel that their partner is comparing them to their ex lover(s). You may be familiar with the rule to never talk about your exes on a first date, but once you’re in a committed relationship, that no longer applies. In order for your relationship to grow deeper, it’s important to talk candidly about the most difficult parts of your past. It can be hard to share stories about your painful memories, but creating an open dialogue early on can make this a little bit easier. This depends on whether you have created a safe haven for your relationship void of judgement. Your partner needs to feel that their vulnerability is safe with you.
Sexual needs and preferences.
I’m reluctant to dive into this topic 😀 I hope my granma doesn’t come across this post hehehehhe! People are fond of leaving sex to chance and think that being a puzzle is fun. This probably comes from the fact that most of us are raised in closed family backgrounds. The mere mention of the word ‘sex’ is a taboo. You can carry those beliefs into your adulthood if you’re not careful. It’s not a comfortable topic to just randomly ask your partner their preferences but c’mon that is necessary if you want to be successful in that regard. No one gets a manual on how to please you. It’s unrealistic to just think that your partner is going to figure out what you want! If you are sexually active be open about it. It gets more comfortable the longer you’re together. It’s also easy to conclude that you’re incompatible if you don’t openly address this topic. So switch off the lights and ask those questions if you need to.
Expectations ( tiri kuenda kupi dude?)
This topic is according to me one of the most uncomfortable ones. A couple may embark on a ghost catching mission and know that they are headed nowhere but no one has the guts to confront the B.S and put an end to it. I believe there is nothing called ‘lets see where this takes or how it goes.’ You take your relationship where you want it to go and if it fails then you would have tried. Failing is not a crime but agree on what you are both hoping to achieve. If it’s a proper relationship that you want to result in wearing ‘ma java’ talk about it there is no shame in that. If it’s a booty call kind of union then talk about it and agree. Most women think that they will appear needy if they question the direction of the Union. It’s not being needy it’s about making informed decisions. Not every serious relationship has to end in a marriage but sometimes you just need a consistent partner. Address the elephant in the room.
Kids or no kids.
If you and your partner are not on the same page about whether you want a house full of kids, no kids at all, or something in between, you could end up with a lot of built up resentment down the line. There are already enough challenges that come up in relationships as it is, so you want to make sure your core fundamental values are aligned so you can go through life on the same team. This may seem like a scary topic to bring up, especially if your relationship is still pretty new, but it’s necessary.
Opening up about your family histories is important to growing as a couple. Your relationship with your family is hugely formative for how you approach any kind of intimate interpersonal relationship. Talking about family politics can be complicated, painful, or even embarrassing, but opening up about them helps you both know each other more deeply. In order to do this effectively, be clear about why you want to talk about it at the beginning of your conversation. This helps you and your partner start on the same page and keep the line of communication open. This means talking about black tax, old age and extended family. It’s a bit of a taboo in most African cultures but it’s a very important topic.
Should you tell your partner before you get married how much income you make?? Well I won’t delve into that in this post but that is another uncomfortable conversation that I believe is necessary amongst others such as religious beliefs especially if you are going to have children, it’s important to agree on how you’re going to raise them.
Come out of the shell and demystify the alchemy! No topic is a taboo if you’re going somewhere but if you have a situationship then push time talking about your favourite colours and favourite food lol. Accept that there are many versions of you and they are just as important, embrace them and help each other grow. Damn, I feel like a relationship coach, I guess I was also advising myself 😜.
Unoziva kuti chii hako future bae? The more you delay coming to me the more these streets will play me like a plastic ball. I’m very much available in the streets and not safe from these dribblers. So far ndatambwa wena kunge bhora rechimbumu rakagadzirwa ne plastic rechingwa chinonzi Aroma😀. Vari kutipedza vanhu ava.
Ma streets acho haasi easy futi. I thought I should give you a heads up. For now let me go back to the streets, meet you later 🥂