Low key, very low key, I wish I could still cry and type paragraphs seeking closure. You know that first heartbreak after breaking up with someone you envisioned your entire life with? The one where you couldn’t sleep, eat and you would find yourself chocking on your own tears. The one where you block, unblock and block again only to find that no one is keeping your number… your heart at that moment 💔💔💔That one was the realest. Now we just soldier on, we’re veterans. In this series call me CDE Pakaipa.
It’s amazing how we almost have similar stories, how we’ve all been dribbled the same way. I think we should have a session as adults where we all start crying after the count of 3. Have you ever tried laughing then you end up crying when it hits you that you have been played? What hurts is not that your person doesn’t care about you anymore, the pain comes from realizing that they never did. It’s not the memories of what you did together that you miss, if we are to be honest, they probably never offered you anything out of this world. If you’re one of the lucky ones who was taken to Dubai and Paris for baecations then you definitely need to cry harder… In fact you need to weep 😅. For the rest of us, it’s what could have been that hurts. It’s how much you loved them, how unconditional you were. Realizing that when it comes to you, they never blinked twice, they never tried to keep you for them. This is when you find yourself crying in the club😅
If you’re still capable of crying you’re still sane. Some of us operate like robots, no tears, no fasting, just hidden pain and agony. “Was it all that easy to just put aside such a feeling?” You would think they were real with you, they truly wanted you. Is it that they deceived us or we just saw what we wanted to see and ignored the “pinkish” looking flags? This other day I found myself talking to a pillow, the conversation went something like this, “Did you know that I loved that man? I had respect for him as a man and I was going to treat him like a Muvhango King, Bafuwi, kneeling and washing his feet?” My insides collapsed like the cities in Ukraine. Still, no tears came.
Do you know that if you’re going through a heartbreak, everything reminds you of the person? A certain scent, food, song and car will just be glaring Infront of you heheheh! I saw a lady jogging in jeans in the morning, our eyes locked and I knew that the pandemic had hit my fellow sister. If wave 1 hits you, you feel like you’re going to die but we’re still here right? Think of the Covid pandemic during the first days, we were all mortified. How many of you still wear masks for protection? EXACYLY!! Truth is, if you’re a lover, you can’t give half of your heart, we get all in and we are shredded to pieces. The moment you gain strength you do it again.
No one is safe, the pain doesn’t get better but we learn to deal with it like soldiers. Human beings are social creatures, we yearn for companionship, no level of success surpasses or replaces that. With this in mind my fellow cdes, it is safe to say, no one is safe in this pandemic. It’s either you protect yourself by never allowing yourself to love anyone or just take a leap of faith and face whatever the next mjolo wave has in-store for you. If you fall, we will resuscitate you…
I’m not a believer in, “I was hurt, so I will hurt others.” The game is just a game, it’s either you are in or out. There’s no middle ground, you can only hope to meet a gentle heartbreaker. I say gentle because some are Nazis in these game 🤣they can cause brain damage and a mild stroke.
Speaking of brain damage…there was this Love Hitler I once met… Episode 2 coming up🍸
Beautifully strong 